you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
