Got a toothbrush?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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