When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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