I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
