He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize