Can Purell be used as lube?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
