I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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