is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I lost the right to judge tonight
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
