Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
