She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
