I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
