Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
