Got a toothbrush?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
