We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
