do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
