why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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