how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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