I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
