I think my vagina is haunted
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
