who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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