I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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