haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
accomplished twins. life is a go
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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