Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i now understand why vodka
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
