please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
