Slut skills are useful in every country.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
