im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
