We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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