You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
