you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize