Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
