he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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