On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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