We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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