The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
