I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
