I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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