The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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