I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize