Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
