Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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