Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
