We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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