im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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