I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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