She's JV to your varsity
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
