Sry I called you an 8
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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