All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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