similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
