Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
