Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
And then he peed in my hair
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