Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
