Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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