I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
