just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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