Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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