I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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