just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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