I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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